I Wonder what film I just saw…

‘Hey… I just watched that movie about the ageless fish out of water superhero’.

‘You only just watched Captain America?’

‘No… The one where they’re a beacon of hope for the people… willing to stand against all odds in the name of freedom’

‘Captain America’

‘No… the one where they wear red, white and blue and throw a shield around’

‘Captain America’

‘No… The one where they find themselves in a World War fighting a super powered Nazi…’

‘Captain America’

‘They recruit a rag tag bunch of misfits in an English Pub’

‘Captain America’

‘They run across a battlefield against incredible odds in slow motion’

‘Captain America’

‘The one where the hero gets their first kiss and falls in love and only to lose them moments later’

‘Captain America’

‘A captain called Steve sacrifices himself flying a plane that has a bomb on board that will kill thousands’

‘Captain America’

‘The film that runs about 20 minutes too long’

‘Captain Bloody America’

‘It ends with the hero being in modern day to team up with other superheroes’

‘For the last time it’s Captain F*cking America!!!!!’

‘It got all that hype because it had a woman director at the helm’

‘Oh… You mean Wonder Woman’

‘Yeah that’s the one…’

‘What did you think of it?’

‘I think I left the cinema feeling bored with a weird sense of Déjà vu but with a subliminal inkling that I shouldn’t criticise it because it was a female superhero film directed by a woman’

‘WELCOME TO THE PARTY PAL…’

Don’t get me wrong… this is by no means a bad movie… It’s directed well, stunning in its cinematography and grading, a moving score and for the studio, it fares a lot better than its previous outings… *cough – Batman vs Superman AKA Martha vs Martha or Suicide Squad – cough* – hell even Gal Gadot does a decent turn of our Amazon princess, Chris Pine brings the smouldering chemistry and Lucy Davis brings the best comedic relief… Just a shame that once again we have to contend with two mediocre villains who face our unstoppable (did you see what I did there) hero with the usual – who cares – approach (This is a disservice to both Danny Huston and David Thewlis – who are superb actors) – I also thought it was funny that the female baddie (played by Elena Anaya) was a female version of Jack Huston’s (Danny’s nephew) character Richard from Boardwalk Empire… Was there no originality in this film????

I just can’t help but shake the feeling that Warner Bros said to the comic book writer with a few TV show episodes to his name… ‘Hey kid, search the interweb for the Captain America – First Avenger screenplay and change the names in it will ya for our big budget outing of the first iconic female superhero…Throw in a little Thor while you’re at it’ – This wouldn’t have been so bad if the usual Warner Bros/DC brainchild’s would have at least stepped back, learned from the mistakes of previous films and resolved them rather than just piling on more flaws – But then again Zack Snyder had his hands all over it (the studio still not learning from their mistakes)  so I guess the answer why it was worse rather than better highlights itself…

With a budget of $149m and (in my opinion) a stolen concept/script from their rivals – The production failed in two areas… some bad big scene editing and even worse CGI… especially on our fighting heroine herself… For shame… No excuse with that kind of budget… so if you give credit where credit is due… then blame should go to where blame is due… and these are the areas that need to be addressed…

I know we are meant to feel like we’ve moved forward by having a woman direct a big budget studio superhero flick… but let’s be honest, real progress will be when a female is given a male orientated big budget superhero film to work with or even where the sex of the director shouldn’t be newsworthy only whether they did a good job or not… A female directing a female movie… it’s like saying ‘take this toy car for a test drive and if you bring it back in one piece we may let your drive the real thing… because, like… you know… we’ve heard women don’t make for the best drivers…’ I don’t see male directors having to prove themselves directing chick flicks on a small budget before being allowed to make female strong film. I’m a firm believer that your gender shouldn’t dictate what you do, a director is a director… if you can do the job… then do the job… making a big media thing of the director of this film being a woman seems more about covering the studios arses if a scapegoat is needed (which I don’t feel there will be… this movie is going to make bank like no one’s business) or making the audience feel they can’t say anything negative in case you push the movement back another 50 years… Patty Jenkins did a fantastic job and I am looking forward to seeing her next outing ‘The Winter Soldier’… I mean Wonder Woman 2 – the return of Bucky Barnes.

Excelsior – Nuff said